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Today, and every day, I invite you to join me in celebrating women who have inspired you in some significant way. It could be a family member, a neighbour, a teacher, a writer, artist, musician, journalist, scientist, athlete or someone involved in some other endeavour.

For me one of the first was Anne Frank whose moving diary awakened the compassion that led me later in life to facilitate recovery in holocaust survivors and others who experienced trauma of some kind. As a young student at the University of California at Berkeley, I came to admire Rosa Parks, a civil rights activist who refused to get off the bus in Montgomery, Alabama, along with Angela Davis, a courageous feminist, political activist who was more of a contemporary than Rosa.

I want to pay tribute to Dorothy E. Smith, a British-born Canadian sociologist and writer, who at the beginning of my career invited me to co-edit and contribute chapters to Women Look at Psychiatry which exposed the systemic oppression of women by the psychiatric profession. The book created a space for women to tell their moving experiences of being harmed by the very experts they turned to for help when they were in emotional turmoil.

Each one, with the guidance of feminist therapists, went on to discover they were “not crazy after all”, that they were not “mad but angry”. Each went on to successful careers in their respective fields. One became a prominent advocate for mental patients. My list of inspiring women is a long one as I am sure are the lists of each of you reading mine. There are all the suffragettes who succeeded in getting women the right to vote.

There are the groundbreaking journalists such as Barbara Walters, June Callwood, Barbara Frum who paved the way for today’s Christiane Amanpour, Adrienne Arsenault, Lisa LaFlamme and so many more. I treasure the poetry and writing of Audre Lorde, Adrienne Rich, Emily Dickenson and the numerous other women who found and used their voice.

Judy Chicago in Through the Flower conveys the challenge of being a female artist in a man’s world. Chicago went on to assemble hundreds of women to collaborate in co-creating The Dinner Party, which honours women who left their mark on the history/herstory of the world. Georgia O’Keefe is a beloved artist to desert women and art lovers worldwide. Emily Carr was a landscape artist whose paintings and writings were inspired by the monumental art portraying the villages of the First Nations and the landscapes of British Columbia. Amelia Earhart, the first woman to do a solo flight across the Atlantic paved the way for future careers in aviation for women drawn to flying or to joining astronaut crews. In every field women’s contributions have been blocked, overlooked or minimized. I tip my hat to the corrective collective of scholars who have made efforts to set the record straight by teaching Women Studies courses in every discipline, encouraging women to enter the trades, sports and every sphere where we have been excluded or restricted.

Perhaps the most important task for each woman reading these words is to reflect on your own life, values and aspirations. It is by freeing ourselves of other people’s expectations and scripts that we reclaim our own authority. While it is important to acknowledge our mentors and teachers, it is our own personal accomplishments and essence that I suggest acknowledging and celebrating on International Women’s Day and every day!

BE YOURSELF, not a copy of any other person.

With February being Psychology Month, I thought it would be a good time to review what emotional self-care can look like.

1. Be bold. Resolve to do what is right, for the right reason, in the right way, at the right time.
2. When conflict occurs, deal with each person’s feelings before turning to the content. Accept and validate the feelings and assist one another to express the feelings in their full intensity. Avoid shaming, blaming, explaining and defending. Instead choose mutual accountability.
3. Focus on solutions not problems.
4. Choose nourishing people, work, hobbies, food, thoughts, beliefs and environments.
5. Accept, support, encourage, protect and love yourself. Loving ourselves assists us to allow others to love us and increases our ability to love them.
6. Face and overcome your needless fears as doing so will help you grow. Sometimes we need to feel this fear and do what we fear anyway. After repeating this many times the fear will fade. This applies to fear or worry we feel when there is no actual physical danger. Fear in the face of actual danger is a gift to keep us safe by assuring we take action such as running to safety, fighting, hiding or reaching out for support.
7. Listen to, trust and act upon your gut feelings. Thought often undermines intuition instead of strengthening it.
8. Let thought be your servant rather than your master. When it is not serving you, observe it with curiosity and gently let it go or, at least, replace limiting thought with thoughts that set you free.
9. Past mistakes can guide us. They do not define us if we learn and move forward in a new and more empowered manner.
10. “No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path.” ~ Buddha
11. Be willing to sparkle and shine.

BE YOURSELF, not a copy of any other person.

Many of you may be reeling from the news of the massacres at Brown University, the shocking Chanukah shooting at Bondi Beach, the murder of Rob Reiner and Michelle Singer, the daily reports of domestic violence, the increasing danger to pedestrians, cyclists, and the public using public transit. This is also a time when food prices and cost of living are soaring to levels that are sending more people to food banks and perilously close to homelessness. Increased stress is increasing physical disease and emotional/mental health challenges. Our provincial and federal governments are responding by placing the public at risk by dramatically lowering the standards of training for psychologists entering the profession and watering down the quality assurance standards for those of us already registered to practice. In BC the government is set to ratify HPOA By-Laws and Standards that the majority of BC psychologists deem will place clients at risk and compromise confidentiality which is the bedrock of trust in psychological services.

What are we all to do? If we sink into depression and lethargy, corporate control of every aspect of our lives will continue. It is urgent to turn up the volume on self-care. We must make our peace with the past, however traumatic it may have been. This does not mean sweeping the past under the rug. It does mean not perpetuating the past by beating up or criticizing ourselves. We must be alert and aware of our surroundings so as to be prepared to act. We cannot afford to be “lost in thought” which interferes with listening to intuition.

Let silencing the mind be the focus of our attention on a regular basis so that we get the guidance we need on what constitutes right action for the right reasons when making important decisions. To advance our understanding of ourselves, we must carefully observe and take responsibility for our thoughts, feelings, actions and words. This is not a task for the lazy. This observation requires passionate curiosity and is to be done without shaming, blaming or judging, which are all products of thought. Accountability is a different matter. It sets us free by giving us clarity about what we must change and what must be changed by another or others. Clarity leads to action. Sometimes that action will be collective and collaborative efforts to bring about social change. Sometimes that action will be to walk away from toxic people, living arrangements, or workplaces. There is no formula for right action. It requires inner listening moment to moment. It requires honesty, integrity, courage, and consistency. This is not a part-time job.

In this season of the light, Be a Light Unto Yourself. Be in your Joy.

Many of you who seek my services begin by developing skills to overcome anxiety, depression, relationship struggles, health challenges, grief and loss. It is always a relief to make progress in these areas. However, the true value of the Inner Journeys we take is the next step, making room for the Art of Living.

While these are challenging times for the majority of Canadians, our neighbours to the south and those in war torn countries, it is important to acknowledge how much we all have to be grateful for.  In North America there is the legacy of First Nations’ care for the environment, our multicultural diversity, our excellent universities, colleges, and trade schools. We can also be thankful to have outstanding athletes, engineers, artists, musicians, dedicated women and men in the public service, as well as in non-profit organizations that serve children, parents, sexual abuse survivors, the LGBTQ community, immigrants and more.

Above all, we are blessed by majestic, serene, and breathtaking natural beauty. Even a short silencing of the mind to focus on lakes, rivers, ocean, mountains, trees and flowers that surround us can assist our recovery from the many stresses of daily life.  In stillness, we calm our nervous systems, thereby protecting our physical and mental well-being.

A calm nervous system and vigilant self–awareness are the key prerequisites to living artfully and joyfully without turning to substances such as alcohol, cannabis, or excess activity.  The latter are all escapes from facing the residue of past hurtful events. This residue of fear, sadness, and/or anger are embodied, and the resultant tension must be released. Avoidance often attracts new hurtful exchanges at work and in relationships. Facing and transforming instead of avoiding dealing with hurtful experiences leads to optimal health, as well as to creativity and success in work and other endeavours.

To those of you who have recovered from past trauma, every day is an opportunity to make living an art as well as an applied science

Co-creating a meaningful life can then become a collaborative experience of intimate partners, and kindred spirits. Even journalists, podcasters, writers, musicians, artists who inspire us can contribute to our being part of the wave of individuals passionately committed to being the best people we can be.

“Live for life, seize the day… just live for LIFE.” (Norman Gimbel)

It is my privilege to meet in this way. Join me as we each learn from, and thereby end, past mistakes. Once free of the patterns that repeatedly sabotaged or limited us earlier in life, we are free to reinvent ourselves daily.

In 2024, I chose to make re-examining my own life my primary focus. The resulting quantum leap in my personal development has prepared me to be a better resource to those who seek my support in their own journeys of self-discovery.

My increased participation in international webinars to keep abreast of exciting developments in brain science, regulation of the nervous system, trauma recovery, couples therapy and spiritual transformation has contributed to my professional expertise. Together, we can now collaborate even more effectively in setting goals for optimal physical, emotional and relational health and, in so doing, advancing our lives.

Whether you have been challenged by unhealthy workplace stresses, relationship betrayals, loneliness and isolation, blocks to creativity, financial stress or bewilderment about best parenting practices, and/or depressing world events, it is time to be bold, persistent, and invincible in finding solutions to the problems we all encounter.  I offer my encouragement and coaching support as you move forward.

We all need to soothe and quiet the overthinking brain. When the mind is quiet, we see and hear from the heart. The heart then provides true understanding and guidance we can rely on. It is from the heart we truly see.

Many of you reading this missive may have taken a break from consultations and be ready to return for another round of coaching on how to develop better daily living practices, as well as more trustworthy support networks. With my encouragement you can be ever more discerning about who to invite into your life.

Welcome only those who ignite an inner fire that may have been extinguished by untrustworthy others. That inner fire will be a contagious spark to others around you.
Some of you may be going through uncertainty about career and relationships. Others face a mid -or late- life crisis while still others need assistance with retirement planning.  Every one of us is coping with a world in urgent crisis. We are all in this together.

It is always a joy to facilitate and witness your increased clarity and confidence in navigating these turbulent waters.

Warm regards,
Sara JOY David

In these times of increased poverty, homelessness, substance abuse, street violence, and war, it is a challenge to rekindle the light. I want to acknowledge all who are seeking to stay calm and healthy, loving, and authentic. Those who speak Truth to Power risk retribution at work, in universities, in government, in the entertainment industry, and the family. Have the courage and integrity to continue speaking the Truth even when it is hard to hear for those with an image of themselves as progressive when they are not.

The sunsets and sunrises are still beautiful. The dolphins and whales, herons, eagles, flowers, and trees all still blossom and fly, jump, swim, climb to freedom. So must we.

Take time alone. Take time with nourishing others. Take the good and make it better yet. Face the shadow within and without shaming and blaming be accountable. This is my intention. Join me and whoever you deem trustworthy in dying to the old and birthing something new and fresh.

In 2024, my focus will be on relationship healing and enhancement, life coaching and spiritual development. I am now booking for the New Year with a few spots open in December. In spite of inflation, my fees will remain unchanged.

May you slow down, be alert, listen to your heart and act with guidance from intelligence. Open to the safety that comes from discernment in identifying when to run, when to set firm boundaries, when and where to rest.

Love yourself and open to loving others who deserve your love. Enjoy the beauty and resilience of the few or the many who inspire you.

Warm regards,
Sara

I hope you are all enjoying the fresh flowers, flowering trees, and all that is new all around us. I would like to share a few words of wisdom from mentors who have inspired me.

“There is only one step, the first step, then the whole circus is over.”
~ J. Krishamurti, public discussion (Saanen August 9th, 1966)

“You can discover more about a person in one hour of play than in a year of conversation.”
~ Plato

“Be wise and definite about your health. Don’t let anything or anyone interfere. Be awake. Be a flame.”
~ J. Krishnamurti, letters to a friend

“When you are angry, you are going to make the best speech you will ever regret.”
~ William Ury

“Anger is a punishment we inflict upon ourselves for the mistakes made by another.”
~ Anonymous

“The subconscious mind is like a tape player. Until you change the tape, it will not change.”
~ Bruce Lipton

“The quieter you become the more you are able to hear.”
~ Rumi

“Worry is the interest paid in advance on a debt you may never owe.”
~ Anonymous

In a world where violence, conflict, poverty and divisiveness are on the increase, it can seem an overwhelming challenge to live peacefully within one’s family, work environment and one’s community. More people than ever are finding it difficult to face loneliness, isolation, anxiety, depression, felt betrayal, insecurity and despair. It is no small task to remain healthy, physically and mentally, in conditions that are becoming more authoritarian, divisive and destructive to individual and collective freedom. The current crisis with inflation worldwide and climate change heighten the urgency of individual and social change.

It has been my privilege to have witnessed the small steps and occasional gigantic leaps forward of many of you committed to being authentic in an inauthentic world, to walk placidly in the midst of needless noise, chaos, and increased financial pressures all the while recovering from traumatic life events, recent or long past, that lead to needless suffering.

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It is love alone that leads to right action.
What brings order in the world is to love
and to let love do what it will.
~ J. Krishnamurti

As this year comes to an end, let us remember we are not our conditioning, we are not our trauma, we are not our attachment wounds, we are not our diseases and illnesses, we are not our losses. We are, if we choose to remember and claim it, channels for creative expression.

REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE IN TRUTH.
THIS can be the game changer.

In recent months, I have immersed myself in continuing studies in psychology and spirituality. I pondered the events on the world stage and the many pandemics of fear, substance abuse, increased violence, physical, emotional and mental dis-ease, climate deterioration, divisiveness and isolation.

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You must understand the whole of life,
not just one little part of it.
That is why you must read, look at the skies
That is why you must sing and dance, and write
poems, and suffer, (to overcome and end suffering)
and understand, for all that is life.
~ Jiddu Krishnamurti

In these seemingly dark times, when many challenges seem overwhelming, it is more necessary than ever to focus on solutions, not problems. We must be the ones to dispel the darkness, turn on the caring within to dispel the indifference or ruthlessness we sometimes observe in our outer circumstances. While this may seem no small task, it is the task before us. It is what we are called to do individually and collectively to recover from personal and collective trauma and become transformative agents of personal and social change.

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